but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
