last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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