Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
