YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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