The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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