never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
