Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
