It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
