im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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