No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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