Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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