i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have already put on my inside pants.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUCK WHALES
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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