People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
