You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
