:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
