dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
How external is "for external use only"?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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