I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
