I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
