There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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