Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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