her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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