I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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