how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
