im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
