I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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