I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
