So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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