did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
