We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
two words...techno handjob
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
