is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina is officially offended.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
