just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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