Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
