Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
