I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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