I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
