google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
