I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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