What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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