You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
