We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I look better un-naked...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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