Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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