Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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