I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found the puke drawer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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