I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
