didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Terrible idea I love it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
