just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Shame - the story of my life.
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