Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
