I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
