That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
