Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
