I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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