two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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